Targay

Ok, as most of you know, I work at Target part-time. I am on my 4th year and only work one day a week. I need to relay some of my experiences because they are funny/strange and I keep forgetting to write shit down...

This past Saturday I had a guy approach me an lean in to ask me a question. He was cute, Carhart coat, baseball cap, scruffy-looking, whitetrash-ish, but had a nice butt... I could tell he was looking for something of a discreet nature. What could it be? Condoms? Lube? My number?

'I don't want to sound TOO gay, but where can I find the curling irons?' -- I find it quite ironic that with 8 other men working in the store, he seems to find the one gay man to ask this question to...

I send him on his way and went back to doing my work... After about 10 minutes he's back in Electronics and looking for games. My co-worker helps him out, but it appeared he felt a little awkward getting just a curling iron, because he spent another $80 on video games... When my co-worker scans the curling iron he made sure everyone in the vicinity heard 'That's NOT for me!'

Gotta love the straight boys!

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There is this woman that comes in EVERY Saturday... She's older, somewhat well-to-do, and COMPLETELY annoying. I find myself running in the opposite direction and hiding behind the kitty litter to avoid her questions...

when I first started, I didn't know any better. She'd catch me in the home office area and soon I'd become her personal shopper. Now, I'm not the brightest bulb on the tree but I DO catch on after a while.

What triggered it for me was one day I was working close to the front of the store, I WATCHED her walk in the front door and she found me within 30 seconds and said, "Excuse me, I've been looking for a few things and I just can't find them.'

BULLSHIT, SISTER!!

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Again, I was working in Electronics (closer to close), and a 'bear'-type gentleman comes up to me and starts asking me questions about portable DVD players. It was apparent he didn't know ANYTHING about them, but was intently listening to what I had to say.

We kept eye contact (i do that when trying to explain shit to people) and apparently his gaydar registered a 'blip'... Or at least he thought it did.

I was standing about 3 feet away from him and talking directly to him. I turned to refer to the players on display and I could see him looking at me the entire time and I caught something out of the corner of my eye.

His hand was slowly rising from him side and aimed for my crotch!! I started to panic a bit so I knelt down and opened one of the cases to grab a boxed player to occupy his friendly fingers.

Kneeling in front of a man making advances on you is NOT a good idea. He moved in closer, with crotch at eye-level, and began massaging himself.

Now, mind you, we've been talking about portable DVD players this whole time. I finally grabbed one fromt he case, stood back up and said, 'I think this one would be the best one for you.'

He agreed and followed me over to the counter. I rang it up, and swiped his first card... Declined.
I swiped the second card (check card) and it went through. This was back in the day when you actually had to sign paper at Target, so he gladly took the slip and signed it.

While signing he says, 'Maybe you could write your number down for me, just in case I have any questions about how to set it up...'

'Umm... You can just call the store and ask anyone in the department your questions.'

He proceeds to write his phone number on the charge slip and hand it over to me. I quickly shove it in the register and smile and take off for another part of the department. I find a co-work and she was like, 'Wow, you were with him for a while!'

I said, 'He wasn't interested in the DVD player at ALL!' I told her what happened and all she could do was laugh... I bet her he'd return it the next day.

Before close, I went to the service desk to pick up our things to put away and guess what I found?

The same DVD player I had sold an hour before... :-)

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And, the BEST for last...

Because of it's proximity to 'Swish and Disco', my Target is lovingly referred to as 'Targay.'

About a year after working there, I noticed a somewhat hot guy cruising me whenever he was in the store. He'd grab a book, stand at the end of the aisle I was working in and watch me work. I throw him a flirtacious glance and he'd smile; it's nice to be acknowledged once in a while.

One day, he had come up and asked me some questions about digital cameras (my forte) and I tried to help him understand it all. He said thank you and proceeded to the front of the store to check out. I had to pee badly, so I headed to the restrooms to relieve myself.

I made it up to the restrooms and bellied up to one of the unrinals. I hear someone come in (I don't look around when I'm doing that stuff) and enter the handicapped stall behind me. I don't think anything of it and finish my business. I really had to go so it took a bit to finish the job.

I close up shop, flush, turn around and the door to the stall is wide-open. This guy was standing at the side of the toilet, workout pants halfway down his thighs, and was pleasuring himself fiercely... I was stunned, so I know I looked longer than normal, but as soon as he said 'You look so much like Colin Ferrell!' I had to bolt. I was out of there SO fast and I think I was a brighter shade of red than my vest. And I didn't get to wash my hands...

I've never told ANYONE about that until now... And now I can't stop chuckling!

So, there ya go. A few stories to make you think twice about working retail as a second-job.

Later!