P to the O to the R to the N

For some reason on my walk home from work I declared last night the be the night I was going to purchase my first porn DVD. I figure most of the men I know have some sort of obsession with it and figure there's something I'm missing out on. Maybe I can spark within me a muscle, ass and dick obsession like them... Maybe that's what's missing?

For those of you who don't know me, I'm not a porn kinda guy. One of my friends took a smigeon of his porn collection and made me a DVD of still pictures and I think the only time I've played it was for CM and Carlos when CM found it in my room.

So, I walk into Rainbow Road drop my workout bag by the counter and head into the porn section. As I'm nearing the DVDs one of the gays from work SWOOPED in and the conversation went something like this:

'Hey Nick!' I said.

'Hey Mike, come in to get a new butt plug?'

'Yes, mine broke over lunch and I just haven't been the same without it' I replied oozing sarcasm.

Then he skittered ff with one of his slimy friends into the room where all the rentals are.

For some reason I was intimidated by the DVDs. I couldn't get up enough guts to go over and look through them for something I might want to watch. So, I walked over to the book section and I picked up one of the Chi Chi Larue Model books. Lots of hot guys, but I found myself commenting on their eyes...

I found an issue of MEN that had a HOT guy on the front and got my hopes up. I opened to where the model was and, although he was incredibly hot I kinda lost interest. He was cute, HUGE arms, beautiful chest, tattoos (ALWAYS a plus) and more than sufficient below the belt line. However, once his clothes were gone... so was all the intrigue.

I put the magazine back and headed to the DVDs. I began perusing the titles and somehow I didn't see anything that attracted me. I knew all of them involved gay sex or something along those lines, but I couldn't even think of what to buy.

Then, suddenly I felt all weird like someone was watching me and I hurried up to the counter (empty handed) to grab my bag. The old, twink wanna-be behind the counter was staring, intently, at me.

'Have a good night!' He said in what I thought was one of the slimiest tones I have ever heard. It'll be a while before I go in there alone again, and probably NEVER for porn.

I think I need to find some internet site that I can order from... that might be a safer route for me without feeling like all the eyes in the store are on me!