Dude...

So, at the YMCA there is a gentleman who I refer to as 'peanuts'. I gave him this nick-name because in one of his 3 lockers he keeps 3-4 jars of dry roasted peanuts. Along with a stash of Diet Coke to refill his 44 oz. That he buys from SA.

He's in his late 50's or early 60's, about 5'11 and not in too bad of shape. I'm not sure what he does exactly, but he will spend hours sitting on the floor or sprawled out in his swim trunks working on his PDA or his laptop.

He also talks to himself. Sometimes he'll be sitting and oscillating. Odd.

Outside the steam room and sauna are rules. One of the rule is 'Do not cover the vent.'

Peanuts had taken over the steam room and in his usual manner, took a paper towel and covered the vent. When I was done with my workout, I hopped in the steam room where it was about 150 degrees! That's WAY too hot and there was no steam.. It was just hot and kinda dry.

I've learned with Peanuts that if you come in, spray down the 'steaming thingy' and actually fill the room with steam, he'll leave.

I chased him out the first time, took down the paper towel and held the door open to let some of the heat out. I reset the room so it was a LOT more tolerable and actually a steam room.

Another gentleman joined me and said that it was so 'fucking' hot in there before he had to get out. We agreed and I relaxed and inhaled some steam.

Peanuts comes back. You can tell he's upset, but he turns around (after coming into the room) and comes back a few seconds later with a papertowel in his hand.

I don't think ANYONE has ever said anything to him before because he seems a touch unstable. Today, I said something...

Smitty: Hey, no towels on the vents, dude!

Peanuts: (angrily) I want to see your ID card that says you have the authority to say that!

Smitty: Do you want me to go to the emergency phone to get someone up here who does work here?

Peanuts: Fine!

I leave the room and go call downstairs and told them the situation.

I hang up the phone and head back into the steam room. I WOULD NOT have gone back in if it weren't for the other guy that witnessing the situation...

Peanuts: You are threatening me! The way you used the word 'dude' was threatening!

Smitty: I just said that it's a rule not to put things over the vent. It's says explicitly outside the door NOT to do so.

Peanuts: SIR, where do you work?

Smitty: You do not need to know that information. All you need to know is that I pay my membership here just like you do. You are not entitled to my personal information.

Peanuts: Yes I am! You are 5 times my junior and are big! (I think I giggled when he said that)

Joe from the front desk comes up to talk to the guy.

Peanuts RUNS out of the steam room and starts to YELL that I going to attack him.

Peanuts (to Joe): The way he used the word 'dude' was hostile and I felt threatened! I am 5 times his senior and he is a lot more muscular than I! He was threatening me!

Joe turns to me and says: Michael, what happened?

Peanuts tries to interrupt me and Joe give him a hand to the face!! (I love Joe. He's a 50 year old black guys that dislikes NO ONE)

I explained what I said and what I meant and the other guy backed me up completely. Joe said: Michael, you're ok. You're in the right.

I left to hop in the shower and I could hear Peanuts going crazy!! He disappeared while I was in the shower, but when I came back out Joe was waiting...

Joe: That dude has a short fuse. You're alright.

Smitty: I'll just not stick around if he's here. I also have issues with his laying on the floor half-naked and working o this laptop and PDA... I'll just let it go!

I go back to my locker and a TON of other people come up to me:

Random YMCA-er: 'I can understand getting upset over someone calling you 'asshole' or 'fucker' but 'dude'? That man is CRAZY!'

Smitty: How can he feel threatened? I don't think I know how to throw a punch!

Another Random YMCA-er: (chuckling) 'I guess we all better watch out use of 'dude' huh?

The older gentlemen near my locker were just CRACKING up because they all have experienced the oddity that is 'Peanuts.'