In my previous posts, I have referred to my Roomie as Neurotic Roommate. He will me NR in the stories below:
Last week I come back from my 'lunch' a.k.a. the gym, and I have a message on my voicemail here at work. It's the NR and he's just pissed about something... 58 second of ranting go by and he has made absolutely NO point what-so-ever, so I decide to call him back. He doesn't answer and I leave a nice, CALM message asking him to call me back and to NEVER leave a ranting voicemail at work unless he's going to declare a specific reason for calling. After a while he decides to call me back and is yelling. I asked him a total of 6 times 'Why are you upset with me, your issues are with someone else.' After the 6th time he finally said: I need to take a nap. Can we talk about this when you get home?
WTF?!?
You call me, bitch me out about nothing, and YOU need to take a nap??? Wow... I guess do nothing all day takes it's toll on the nerves... *GO, GO GADGET CLAWS*
I was fuming at this point and needed to settle down a bit. I didn't lose my cool on the phone, but DAMN he's aggravating...
Thank God for Cindi! She's ALWAYS willing to let me vent... So, I head home and I walk in the door and get 2 steps into the kitchen... BOOM! He's on me like white on rice... I stuck my hand in his face and said: You need to figure out who you're upset with, because it isn't me. -- Shut him up REAL quick.
I explained to him I will no longer speak with him if he chooses to yell, I will no longer argue with him unless he has a valid argument, and if he has an issue with our landlord (they don't seem to get along because NR can't seem to write a GOOD check) he needs to take it up with him.
I think I finally made a connection that night. Fucker still owes me a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos tho... :-)
Second Story:
Ok... Monday I decided to take the day off and, because he doesn't work, NR was home all day....
In one of the few instances that I actually had to go downstairs to get water, the NR cornered me and said that he is getting a Commission Check from his business (that has only one contract signed). He wanted me to take him to go look at TV's so that we can blow his commission check. I adeptly dodged the question and explained in not-so-nice terms that he should prolly make sure he can pay rent before buying a TV. He didn't like that suggestion too much.
I have no refused to take him anywhere... GAWD, I can't wait for the busses to be back up and running!!
...Let's see: 2 jobs, 2 puppies,softball, boyfriend... hmmm... I'm guessing busy, not lazy...
He proceeded to rag on me about the boxes and stuff being in the living room and it not being ready for the sofa to be delivered. I made an off-handed comment about how he needs to settle down, and he came back and said I was lazy... Wow... I'm lazy... Let's see: 2 jobs, 2 puppies, softball, boyfriend... hmmm... I'm guessing busy, not lazy...
Needless to say the room was cleaned up and ready for the sofa the night before.
Third Story:
So... I also took Tuesday off so I could be home when my sofa was delivered to the house. I wanted to make sure it wasn't damaged because I didn't trust the NR to do a god job.
The Sofa came in without a hitch (except for me going to bed at 4AM because I was playing my game) and I forgot to get some cash to tip the delivery guys. So, I borrowed $20 from the NR and he said he'd need it back before I went to my PT-job. Not a problem.
Throughout the day he kept making comments about how HE was going to arrange the living room and about how HE was going to do this, and do that... But whenever he could he made a comment about my couch being orange... Now, mind you, the official color of the sofa is 'Saddle.' It's a light tan... There is NO orange in the sofa...
The walls of the living room are a warm orange (not too bright) so maybe he was just confused... He took a cushion off of the couch and help it up to the wall... NOT the same color...
Then.. I came down a while later and he had placed this God-awful, blue, patch-work pillow on the couch. ICK, ICK, ICK, ICK, ICK! There is NOTHING I hate more than country-kitsch decor! I grabbed that pillow and said 'Please, NO!'
Apparently this was an attack on his decorating abilities... He got all pissy and tried to argue with me. 'I pay $450 a month in rent too, you know!' And I said 'I also spent $800 on a couch and you haven't put shit into this house.' *DING* ROUND 2!
'Well, I was going to buy that one couch, but you didn't like it,' he said. 'One, because it was ugly. Two, because it was ugly. Three, because it was ugly!' -- Shut him up REAL good.
Fourth Story:
Remember that $20 I borrowed? I headed out a little early for work and went to get cash to pay him back. He knew full well what I was doing and that I'd be back.
I go and grab cash, stop and pick up Burger King for dinner, and head back to the house. I'm running a bit late, so I park in front and come in through the front door. Now, I'm 217lbs and make some noise when I move around. I come in and head to his room. He's sprawled out, buck-naked and talking on the phone.
I couldn't speak... It was not a pleasant site... ewww. ewww. ewww. ewwwwwwwww.... (Now I know why he can't keep a boyfriend)...
I covered my eyes, held up the $20 and said 'Here!' He grabbed it and I RAN out of the house... As I drove to work, I kept saying 'OH MY GOD!'... I don't think I've EVER taken the Lord's name in vain so many times in my life... EVER!
ICK, ICK, ICK, ICK, ICK. Now, the only thing running through my mind is: Is he sitting on my couch naked right now??? YUCK!!
Aiight... I've grossed myself out again for the day... I'll write tomorrow... Sure I'll have another story to tell...
